Oh, hello there Mr. Polar Jetstream. Why are you feeling so down? What's that? You want to freeze North America? Thanks... we appreciate that. Please cheer up soon.

I can't remember the last time I've seen the Jetstream curve down that low. Because of this, of course, there are massive waves of the chills.

Some people may not have experienced the dead of winter before and, after only seeing a few newscasts, I can see most are not prepared.

It's all about layers.

Normally I hate it when people layer because I find most people cannot pull-it-off and end up looking like a fad follower... but in this case, of potentially life or death, I'll let it slide. Stay indoors as much as possible. If you must venture the freezing terrain:

• Wear a hat or hood or cover your head. Long hair and ear muffs aren't going to cut it, miss.
• Wear a couple shirts under your sweater.
• Wear thicker tights or even "Long Johns".
• Wear something that is going to block that harsh wind.
• Wear boots (WITHOUT FANCY HEELS).
• Cover your face with a scarf, neck warmer, balaclava, etc etc.

What I usually find is that people want to look good in these situations. It's okay, it's cold out. All of you beautiful people can have a few days off. Stay warm!